Even my mother’s called the police on me. That hurts. You have a problem, they lock you up—give you pills when you need food and a place to stay.
    I was 23, a mother, a father, and a full-time employee. I was tired, kind of having hallucinations, quoting the Bible. It led to the psychiatric ward.
    At medication time they rang a little bell, “Medication, take your med­ication.” You had the medication and you made your bed, and the rest of the day you’re just watching TV. and walking up and down the halls.
       One thing I found very difficult to take was the restraints. It was a very horrible experience to be in restraints, tied down, no bedpan, nothing. It haunts me.
   I thought I would never go back. I tried working part-time but had hallucinations, voices. They shipped me to the state hospital. They had dances on Saturdays. But you can’t be very close to the males, even though you’re grown. I was there for nine months.

         
    I’m always going to have to take medication. Always going to face the possibility of being locked up, in restraints, hospitalized, low self-esteem, thinking of suicide, insomnia, heavy smoker, drinking coffee by the pot. 
    This year I was hospitalized again. I was pregnant with my second son and I was by myself. I ended up on the streets and the police found me at two in the morning. Back to the hospital. Take your medicine and watch TV.
    It was really difficult because I wanted the baby to make it. My man had nothing to give the baby. Not one diaper. I thought the baby should be in a foster home. It took a lot out of me. My man was very angry with me for doing it. He felt so hurt. I tried to explain to him that it’s a temporary thing.